To say that Jeni and I met in the most unexpected, unconventional way possible is quite an understatement. In fact I don’t think I could have planned it to be any crazier or unusual than it actually was even if I had had a year to work on it. I guess that makes us living proof that fact is stranger than fiction.
Basically the way the whole thing with us got started was that I went to a nude beach one day with 2 of my buddies. The 3 of us worked together and used to hang out a lot in our free time and on one night in a moment of – I don’t know what, stupidity I guess - I wound up telling them about my nude beach adventures. Man, did that one ever come back to haunt me. They kidded me up and down and made lots of jokes at my expense all the time after that. Finally I started daring them to go with me. Every time they kidded me, I turned it back on them and dared them to go with me. What could they do? A dare is a dare, right? I was calling them out and they knew they had to put up or shut up and they’ve never been ones to shut up. LOL! So they agreed to go.
That’s when all the big talk really started. Big talk about all the hot babes they were going to see naked and bragging about how they were going to impress these chicks and hang out naked with them – on and on. I just let them go on knowing what big fools they were going to make of themselves. They still kidded me saying that I probably didn’t really have the you-know-whats to go naked out there in front of everybody like that and that I was just bluffing and lots more derogatory things that guys say about each other when they’re joking around. And to tell you the truth, I was having just as much fun with them as they were with me throwing insults back and forth. This all went on for a few days before we went.
Then the big day came. Still lots of big talk on the way there. Still lots of big talk as we parked. But then they started freaking out as we walked down the beach towards the nude section. And once we hit the nude section, they were really freaking out. Not so much big talk now. Then they dared me to get naked. “Come on Steve, Mr. nude beach hot shot, get ‘em off.” “Yeah dude, let’s see you do what you said.” So I stopped right there and got naked. I was about to do that anyway of course. Hey if they wanted to give me a real dare they would have dared me to keep my clothes ON! lol! Oh and another major mistake in this whole comedy of errors was that one of the guys brought his dog along much against my wishes. This mut was a total nuisance to everybody around. So that was my group: 1 nudist guy doing what I do, 2 clothed guys with their eyes bugging out and their mouths hanging open like complete idiots, and 1 stupid out of control dog.
But among all the other people on the beach that day, there was another particular group. On down the beach a little ways from where we settled down was a group of 4 girls that caught our attention. One was nude and the others were wearing swimsuits of various sorts. These were good looking chicks that any red-blooded guy would notice anywhere anytime regardless. It was obvious to me that the nude girl was a nude beach veteran like myself (it takes one to know one?) and that her friends were there probably for the first time like mine were.
So there I was trying to keep my friends busy hoping that maybe if they got used to being here they might eventually stop being idiots and settle down and try going nude. We went into the water and swam and body surfed and tried to drown each other and generally just clowned around. The nude girl and a friend were throwing a frisbee close to the water just down the beach from us. It was windy and the frisbee went wild and into the water not too far from me so I retrieved it and came into shore close enough that I could stand up enough to throw it back to the swimsuit girl – she was the closest. I guess she freaked out seeing a naked guy coming out of the water towards her so she starts walking away from me kind of nervous like. I then turned to the nude girl and threw it to her instead. She caught it and smiled and shrugged her shoulders in a way that meant she was apologizing for her friend’s rudeness. I smiled back to let her know I got the message and waved and went back to my friends.
My friends of course observed all of this and they started kidding me to no end about scaring the swimsuit girl away. Real funny, they thought. They also had lots of choice comments to make about the nude girl – evaluating her various physical attributes, which were quite nice, I couldn’t help but notice, but my friends were being pretty shallow, crass and callous in their remarks. That made me a little mad. After a time, we decided to go back up on the beach and hang out. The nude girl and a different swimsuit girl were playing frisbee again and this time the nude girl was the one closest to us. As we were coming out of the water, my big-mouth friends dared me to go over and invite the nude girl over to hang out with us. They figured there was no way I’d ever take that dare. I was never all that brave about going up and talking to girls I didn’t know, but I guess because I already knew that this girl was at least a little bit friendly from our previous frisbee encounter and because my friends were being so obnoxious about everything, I turned without saying a word and walked away from them straight down the beach towards the 2 girls. That was absolutely the last thing they expected me to do.
As I walked up behind her (ah, that beautiful feminine form in motion), the other girl caught the frisbee and held it looking past her friend at me approaching. That told the nude girl that something was going on and she turned around. We started talking about I don’t remember what all. I told her that this was the first time for the guys that I was here with and that they were being total idiots about everything. She laughed and said it was the same with her friends – first time and total idiots, too. We talked and laughed about the stupid things our friends were saying about everything. Then I told her that if she wanted to help me really freak out my friends she should come over and let me introduce her to them. I originally hadn’t intended to invite her over like they dared me to, but you know how one thing leads to another. She said sure why not – the day will be a total disaster if we don’t laugh about it so we left her friend there holding the frisbee and walked back down to where my friends were.
As we were walking towards them, they were watching us and I could see them talking to each other and I could just imagine the things they were saying. As we walked up to them, I could tell she was a little nervous starting out and she stood there with her arms folded over her breasts and her legs close together with one foot kind of over the other one like she had to pee or something. She says she wasn’t anything like that, but I remember it because it was so cute. So anyways I started to introduce her and then all of a sudden I realized I didn’t even know her name! We had a good laugh out of that and I guess that broke the ice because she really got into the act after that. Hi, I’m Jeni she told us introducing herself. She was bolder now and even shook each of the guys hands as they introduced themselves. They were anything but their usual boisterous selves now. You should have seen them. They truly did not know what to do or where to look or what to say. I loved it.
We stood around talking a little although mostly it was her and me talking. Then she suggested we should all go down and meet her friends. She knew that would freak them out just like it did with my friends. See, I told you she was getting into the act. The 3 girls saw us coming and the one of them who was topless scrambled around getting her top back on. We all met and introduced ourselves and talked a little about whatever. I don’t remember much of the small talk. I just remember feeling like Jeni and I had connected and I think we were both now feeling a certain superiority over our textile impaired friends even though they outnumbered us. She and I would frequently make eye contact and she’d just smile or roll her eyes at something dumb that somebody said about being there. One of the girls slipped on a shirt to cover-up to talk to us even though she was already wearing a full one-piece swimsuit. Jeni silently mouthed the word “amateurs” to me and I could hardly keep from laughing out loud.
Anyway, it was a lot of fun for she and I until that stupid dog broke up the party by running wild and getting sand all over their blanket and nosing around their food. So my friends and I went back down the beach to our spot, but even then that stupid dog kept on bothering the people around us and they started getting really irritated at us. I can’t say as I blame them. We knew we had worn out our welcome and decided we’d better go. I looked around for Jeni. I wanted to say goodbye, but she and her friends had gone on down the beach I guess and we couldn’t wait around any longer for fear of getting in even more trouble over the stupid dog. I was hoping to work up the courage to ask Jeni for her number before we left, but I didn’t even get the chance to chicken out. I was one disappointed guy.
I made more trips back to the nude beach over the next several weeks (without any amateurs or dogs) hoping to run into Jeni again, but it wasn’t happening. In the process I sort of got into the habit of spending more time at the beach (that’s not such a bad thing) and didn’t really realize I’d just about given up on running into her again. Then one day probably more than a month later I was heading back down the beach to leave because I was running late for work and there was Jeni and a friend. She was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her, but seemed just as glad about it as I was. She introduced me to her friend - another girl who was clearly not an “amateur” - and we talked about the last time we were here and about our friends and all the funny stuff that happened. She said her friends never did go nude that day and never came back. I told her mine didn’t either. We laughed about what a disaster it had been.
It was getting later and later for me to get to work and I knew I was going to be in so much trouble (again). Finally I worked up my courage and asked Jeni if I could talk to her alone for a minute. Her friend took the hint, excused herself, and strolled off down to the water. That’s when I asked Jeni if I could call her sometime. She said yes, she’d like that and she seemed glad that I had asked. What a relief. But then neither one of us had anything to write her number with or on! We wound up having to bother several different people around us there on the beach before we finally found somebody that had paper and pen we could borrow. Another big laugh, but mission accomplished. I was so late getting to work that day and I got into so much trouble over it, but it was worth it.
I called her in a couple of days and asked her out and she agreed to go believe it or not after all that! Then in a couple more days when I showed up at her apartment to pick her up, she opened the door and… Wait - let me back up a little. First of all, I was kind of nervous what with this being our first date. I already liked her and I didn’t want to blow it. In all my nervousness and anticipation, I hadn’t even given a thought about the fact that this would be the first time we would have ever seen each other with our clothes ON. How’s that for reverse engineering! So when she opened the door and we saw each other, I think it hit us both at the same time and I swear - she swears this didn’t happen, but I swear up and down it did - Jeni actually blushed. (“You’re blushing!” “No I’m not!” “Yes you are!”) We laughed about it and I told her she looked great because wow she really did! Then we started cracking some really lame jokes. Like I said, “You know I fantasized about what you would look like clothed!” and she said, “I know! I felt like you were mentally dressing me!” LOL!
Anyways we had a great first date and things really clicked with us. From there on we steadily progressed from friends to being a couple to falling in love to lovers to marriage and we’re now actively living happily ever after. So I guess I didn’t blow it.
Sorry this is so long, but I had to get in all the funny stuff. Anyhoo that’s our story and we’re sticking to it!